One of life’s little pleasures is a well-roast chicken, juicy enough that it falls off the bone, and wrapped in a crispy, seasoned, flavorful skin. I’m particularly partial to the rotisserie birds from Draeger’s deli section … when just-cooked, they’re sublime.

Of course, such meals end unhappily for the chicken, as our vegan and vegetarian friends will be quick to remind us. This is true, but to forgo meat is to deny our predatory nature, of which nothing good can come. Besides, animals would eat you if they could.

In that connection, it’s worth pointing out that the fact that the same magical animal gives us pork chops, bacon, ham, and prosciutto is indisputable proof of God’s beneficence.

Turkey, on the other hand, is the devil’s bird.

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